This.

This whole article, I’ve been somewhat jealous of your ability to avoid the introspection it took to realize your transness- I wish I could’ve gone through middle and high school unaware. Coming out young made me unable to transition in any way past socially, and I faced so much bullying. I was an alien who couldnt use a locker room for P.E. and had to walk to the teachers bathrooms because they were unisex.

Every day of my life since coming out someone has reminded me that I’ll be free on my 18th birthday. That’s been 7 years of waiting, though.

I feel like it would’ve been easier to simply deny my transness, to “not know", but I’m not that type of person. I was out and proud and faced all the consequences, I just wish I had bodily autonomy all the while. “Looking like a girl" while desperately presenting masculine/androgynous, going through the wrong puberty AWARE that I had other options and needs… I wish I could’ve simply not realized, or not thought about it. I’m sorry that you felt selfish thinking about your own gender (while you knew, respected, and befriended trans people your whole life), though.