This is personal,
I’ve seen long, long posts by parents of trans kids, and even some parents of cis kids, giving harmful advice to parents.
I can’t blame these people for misinforming my parents, that denial comes from many places. However, when these voices are heard more than our voices, those of actual trans kids, it misleads the public, the media, school officials, and even medical professionals.
This hurts us, and our access to competent care and respectful treatment. Stop calling trans surgeries “mutilation”, stop calling transitioning “child abuse”. Bold of you to assume our parents are even remotely okay with our existence.
As I’ve mentioned before, I came out at 11. The backlash from my peers was absolutely predictable- but the rippling effects and suffering it caused me to be trans within my family was more surprising. My mother, the liberal and fierce (cis…) women’s rights activist (she’s a little TERF-y). My father, the leftist who seemingly couldn’t give two shits what I did.
The “problem”; what the media, adults, (even other trans people!) is when trans kids medically transition.
The age I came out at was ideal for a medical transition- I could’ve gone on estrogen blockers (aromatase inhibitors) which wouldn't cause any changes at all (nevermind “irreversible!1!11!” ones). However, because of my parents and a severe, severe lack of resources, I wasn’t able to see a real gender therapist/endocrinologist/supportive medical professional until around age 13. At this point, I was too far down the painful road of the incorrect puberty.
I wanted testosterone.
I understand parents’ arguments, I do! I wouldn’t want my kid to cause “irreversible changes!11!11” if they “aren’t sure”. I have been very empathetic, and patient- it’s hard to accept change. But maybe it’s time for you to listen to us. Because we are sure.
Other teenagers don’t have to prove their validity, maturity, and seriousness to get their hormones. If they did, I know for a fact very few cis kids would ever hit puberty.
The trauma of being a consciously estrogen-dominant (and therefore visibly trans/feminine to people, classmates, & teachers) boy hurt so much, I decided when I was 14 (and had exhausted all legit medical options, since minors can’t be written prescriptions without a parent) I bought Testosterone on the black market and injected it.
This, to you, is a parents’ worst nightmare- and yet when my GP told my mother I was doing it, she just took it away. Didn’t take me to a doctor or endocrinologist or therapist to help me transition safely, just took it away.
Don’t be that parent.
